wsa there something wrong with my yuck and more

Area for content rejection questions.

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zwag
Posts: 44
Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:17 pm

wsa there something wrong with my yuck and more

Post by zwag »

I'm wondering if the following is one reason I got rejected. The only problem is, the next morning they were throwing up. Yuck! Should there have been a dash between throwing up and yuck, like this? The only problem is, the next morning they were throwing up--yuck. Should yuck have been totally avoided?

Since the article has been rejected, can I submit it here peice by peice like you do in the critiquing forum or should I just do that in the critique forum?
HayleyWriter
Posts: 536
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2008 7:28 pm
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Re: wsa there something wrong with my yuck and more

Post by HayleyWriter »

Hi zwag,

I can't speak for Ed, but I would definitely avoid the use of vague or slang descriptors, such as yuck. By itself, the word yuck does not create a complete sentence, so including it within the previous sentence would be wiser.

Actually, I have some constructive criticism for you about the entire sentence, not just the use of the word yuck. As a reader, I find this sentence hard to understand. I'm left asking, "The only problem with what?" and "Who are they?" when I read the sentence. I think you could effectively add in further details to add to the clarity of the sentence. For example: The only problem with using the burnt chicken egg recipe is that anyone who eats it tends to throw up in the morning. Adding in such details ensures the sentence structure is complete, as it appears incomplete with your original version.

I wouldn't submit the entire article or even too many pieces of it in the constructive criticism forum, because the search engines look at the forums and then the article won't come up as unique when Ed checks it against copyscape. You can put a paragraph or two there, but I wouldn't suggest posting your entire article.

If you would like to send me an email via the Contact this author button on my CC profile, I can have a look at your article and offer some suggestions.

Hope this helps,

Hayley
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