Help needed - satirical article rejected for wording

[SuzanneBosworth]

Hi all

I'm not sure what to do. I have an article I'm submitting for a buyer who wants snarky / satirical / witty articles about scams. One of the sentences I've included in an article about love scams, re a scammer coming on strong to a buyer and practically leaning out of the screen, is "and as near as dammit reaches through the screen and sticks her tongue down his throat."

The editor has requested that I change it to " ..... nearly reaches through the screen and sticks her tongue down his throat." No other changes.

Is "as near as dammit" not a phrase that's used in the States? Have I included a Britishism that won't travel? In the context of this piece, "nearly" isn't anywhere near as powerful as "as near as dammit", which is why I used the phrase, and I'm hoping to hook the buyer with all guns blazing rather than watering it down. What to do?

[mnicol22]

Hello Suzanne,

To be honest, I hadn't heard of that phrase until today. The Merriam-Webster dictionary refers to it as British-Informal, so maybe its use is not very common in American English. I suppose you could give it a shot and resubmit with a comment to the editor, explaining that the style of the article requested permits such informal phrasing, but I'm not sure that will help anyway. In the worst-case scenario, you will have to find a way to rephrase it. It sucks, I know, but there is really no alternative!

That's my 2 cents on this. Good luck with your article!

[SuzanneBosworth]

Hi mnicol22 - thanks so much for weighing in. I hadn't realised it wasn't common and had thought it part of a shared library of casual expressions. I keep hearing it used in the States.

I shall apply myself to finding a suitable alternative for this little morsel of satire. Gotta get the pace right. Word rhythms and such. But - isn't the client the one who needs to OK the language for this genre of writing? I'm still at a loss.

Thanks again.

[mnicol22]

Going through the writers' guidelines once more, I saw that CC accepts both British and American English as long as you stick to one version through the entire text. I'm more convinced that this specific phrase is just too informal for their likings.

In any case, I hope everything turns out well for you.

[SuzanneBosworth]

Thanks again mnicol22 - that's what keeps me confused. This is supposed to be a very informal, in-your-face piece of writing, as per the client request. The client wants snarky, rude, satiric. My US pals say the phrase in question is used regularly.

It's not worth getting fussed over, I suppose. I was saying to people earlier that I'm the last person to get precious about my writing, but this just didn't make sense to me. Still doesn't. Sigh.

[mnicol22]

Then just try to resubmit it as it is, explaining to the editors that it's supposed to be that way. I don't see any reason why they would refuse if that's what the client requested.

[AlexBramwell]

I had a title with "damn" rejected. Must be ruder on their side of the Pond!

[Celeste Stewart]

Do you know if the client wants the article written for a UK audience? If so, then perhaps you could make your case for the phrase. Otherwise, I'd find something else. I've never heard that phrase before here in the U.S.

[SuzanneBosworth]

I had a title with "damn" rejected. Must be ruder on their side of the Pond!

Haha .. oh we're absolutely and uncontrollably uncouth! The air above Scotland is blue. Heh!

[SuzanneBosworth]

Do you know if the client wants the article written for a UK audience? If so, then perhaps you could make your case for the phrase. Otherwise, I'd find something else. I've never heard that phrase before here in the U.S.

Thanks Celeste. Doesn't say. I'll find another way of expressing what I mean, and if it gets rejected again I'll use it for another client.