Sentence Help for Requested Article

[JoyRCalderwood]

My paragraph: Processing grief is important and healthy, and part of processing it includes sharing our feelings and thoughts with others. If those grieving are privileged enough to have a close friend or family member with which to share, they are set on a pathway to healing.

EDITOR'S NOTE: *** If those grieving are privileged enough to have a close friend or family member with which to share [their feelings? their pain?], they are set on a pathway to healing.

Do I really have to say "share their feelings" AGAIN?

[JoyRCalderwood]

ok, not in the mood to argue

I added "feelings" even though I disagree

[webscribe]

Adding their feelings or their pain does seem to give the statement a precision it lacks (as the editors note). However, I'm bothered by the friends or family members with which to share ... I'm pretty sure that which can never be used as pronoun to replace people nouns (friends or family members). Therefore, the correct usage would be friends or family members with whom to share ... But if we make this change, then we have another problem, which is the use of the word whom. It's falling out of usage in English (probably because no one knows when and where to use it), and I very rarely introduce it in anything I'm selling, especially for the Internet . The best solution is usually to reword to avoid using whom. I've already forgotten the sentence in question, but maybe you could try something like ... those privileged enough to be able to share their feelings with friends and family members ...

Best of luck with the article on grieving .

[CharlotteAndrews]

My paragraph: Processing grief is important and healthy, and part of processing it includes sharing our feelings and thoughts with others. If those grieving are privileged enough to have a close friend or family member with which to share, they are set on a pathway to healing.

EDITOR'S NOTE: *** If those grieving are privileged enough to have a close friend or family member with which to share [their feelings? their pain?], they are set on a pathway to healing.

Do I really have to say "share their feelings" AGAIN?

I agree that I think the sentence is a bit ambiguous, but the editor's note does not fix it the way I would. I would also reword the idea. "If those grieving" is a phrase I would probably change too. "Those grieving" is plural, but they are only afforded "a" singular close friend or family member in your original sentence. Here's my first instinct on the matter:

"Having close friends or family members to confide in/lean on/listen can be an invaluable part of the healing process for those coping with grief."

Based on the two sentences you shared here, you may want to proofread the whole piece for continuity of person. i.e. "those" and "they" in the same paragraph as "our" is inconsistent. Plus, the whole article may get rejected again for use of first person.

Good luck!

[JoyRCalderwood]

You've been so encouraging. (NOT)

[CharlotteAndrews]

Yikes! I honestly apologize if my comments came across as too blunt. I like your ideas and want you to find all the issues the editors might flag, so it gets accepted and sells! You obviously have a lot of ideas and I really think you're well on your way here. Please don't be discouraged.