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Help me fix this sentence
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:06 am
by Lysis
I'm a little frustrated, so maybe that's why I don't see it. I submitted an article and received a rejection. In the rejection, it had this sentence from my article. I know I can rearrange the sentence, or even delete it, but can someone point out my error so I can correct it next time?
After eating fatty food, the gallbladder releases bile into the small intestines where it is excreted from the body.
Re: Help me fix this sentence
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:17 am
by Ed
This sentence implies the gallbladder has eaten fatty food.
Re: Help me fix this sentence
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:23 am
by stephanie
After eating fatty food, the gallbladder releases bile into the small intestines where it is excreted from the body.
I understand it's not the gallbladder that's eaten the fatty food; but I'm not sure what's excreted from the body -- the food or the bile. Also, maybe instead of "where it is excreted" should read "after which it is excreted".
Re: Help me fix this sentence
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:26 am
by Ed
Great point.
" . . . intestines, which excrete (what) from the body."
Re: Help me fix this sentence
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:38 am
by Lysis
jeeez, damn, now I totally see it. :-/
Thank you both.
Re: Help me fix this sentence
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:42 am
by Ed
For anyone interested, the following page on dangling modifiers may be helpful:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/597/01/
Re: Help me fix this sentence
Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 8:25 am
by Lysis
Thank you for the link.
After you pointed it out, I completely see it. I think I'm gonna take a break from CC and writing for a couple of days. I feel dumb not seeing it , which suggests I need sleep.
I was pretty proud of that article, and I love the health stuff, but I really hate making dumb mistakes like that. My dog will appreciate the fresh air with her momma.
Thank you again!