Guide for Writing Concisely

[Ed]

That's a great idea! Let me see if we can set something up.

[Constant]

[quote="Ed"]

When a cat is flipping his tale, it could mean he is irritated.

When a cat FLIPS his tale, it could mean he is irritated.


[/quote]
tsk tsk ed. 'tale...?'

LOL. even editors are human eh?

[Ed]

Well, that's embarrassing.

[Angie H]

Lol well with as fast as you got through the articles that piled up over July 4th, I was starting to question whether you really were human or not.

I know for one that I am terrible for concise writing. I am forced to write 500 word articles for $2-5 each a lot. This means quantity is important ( I figure if they want quality, they should pay for it!). I find it extremely difficult to catch myself and switch gears between the two. I also find it extremely difficult to write concisely while still making the article sound informal and friendly...virtually impossible for me really. I am also admitting (just this once) to often missing a word. I do proof myself, but I find that my eyes work faster than my fingers. My brain is faster yet, and it is often difficult for me to catch those little missing words.

I am definitely aware that I am not one of the better writers on the site, but I'd like to think that I am getting better. It may take me awhile Ed, but I value your opinion and information very much. Since I don't have a formal education in this region and *good* information is hard to find on the internet (and recognizing the problem in the first place), I would actually like to see more.

Thanks!!

Angie

[Ed]

Well, some here on this site would argue that I am definitely sub-human, rather than super-human.

I finally got access to the blog again, so I'll post there, and we can also get discussions going on in the forums. We all make mistakes, for sure, especially when we read our work over and over again without a break in between. I find the screen to be more problematic than a printed page.

And Angie . . . who is "forcing" you to write 500 word articles for a pittance? Someone needs to force you to stop!

[Ed]

I think we also all view conciseness slightly differently, but it shouldn't mean eliminating interest. There is room for personal style. You just have to choose wisely where to inject your voice so that it doesn't cause an interruption of flow.

[Angie H]

Well, I shouldn't say force, but unless I want to go back to the exciting world of door manufacturing, I have to take whatever I can get to make ends meet. I really love to write and going back to writing as an occasional hobby would be to admit defeat. Now if I could only hit the jackpot here on CC....lol

btw, when I get a chance, I'll try those techniques on an article that I can play with, and we'll see what happens. I'll let you know...better yet, maybe I'll try a little one here on the forum and see how it goes.

Until then, it's back to the grindstone for me!

Angie

[Celeste Stewart]

Yeah, it's an art alright. You don't want to cut words to the point of creating a sterile article.

[Celeste Stewart]

Back to the original link - the suggestion to look at "is verb forms" is spot on. I call this "was-itis." Many people fall into the "was doing something" trap. For example, here's a goofy paragraph off the top of my head:

I was reading the newspaper this morning when I noticed that my husband was scratching himself non-stop. What was he doing? I was thinking that he was suffering from an insufferable itch. My dog was also acting strange. She was sniffling and snorting. Between the two of them, I was about to go insane!
(eight instances of "was" - close to 15% if the total word count according to my fuzzy calculations!)

Now, a quick little rewrite - with "was" in mind (still a goofy paragraph but hopefully stronger for the editing of the word "was"):

I read the newspaper this morning and noticed my husband scratching himself non-stop. "What a horrible itch," I thought. My dog acted strange, too. She sniffled and snorted. Between the two of them, I'd go insane soon!

Another approach is:

While reading the newspaper this morning, I noticed that my husband couldn't stop scratching himself. A rash? Fleas? Scabies? Shingles? At my husband's feet, the dog's incessant snuffles, snorts, and scratches almost, but not quite, suggested that she had it an itch worthy of scratching. Between the two of them and their constant clawing, I started feeling itchy.

Both paragraphs are better for having eliminated "was." The first one is shorter; the second one is longer. Either way, I'd say that the rewrites show a little more effort on the writer's part and are more interesting to read.

Getting rid of "was-itis" is easy. Go through your articles using Word's "Find" feature and look for "was," "is," and "were." I bet that you can change 70% of these words into more interesting phrases or more active verbs.

[Angie H]

Right, Thanks Celeste!

The first variation is better than the 2nd one, right? There are several prepositions in the second., which is a no-no in concise writing. Right?? or in other words:

I prefer the 2nd paragraph over the first one. The second paragraph has several prepositions, which goes against the concise writing code.

????

Angie

[Celeste Stewart]

As I read the newspaper this morning, my husband scratched his arms non-stop. A rash? Fleas? Shingles? Meanwhile, the dog's incessant snuffles and snorts indicated that she had the same affliction. Their constant clawing made me itchy too.

Better?

[Angie H]

Oh, I didn't mean it that way sorry. Only trying to see if I'm getting this...I noticed that with the original example, it sound more like a natural conversation (with the exception of a few extra "was's") where as the last example you gave is very entertaining to read, but in comparison, sounds more like telling the story rather than carrying a conversation. That is the angle I should keep in mind then right?

Angie

[Celeste Stewart]

Writers are never done. First draft, second draft, third. . .
I've heard it said that you're done when you edit something back to its original state.

Anyhow, these are just silly little examples of getting rid of "was-itis," that's all. Not even terribly good ones at that. The first example was forced because I intentionally wrote with "was doing something" structures.

[topdycke]

What an entertaining, as well as educational, thread. I just had to weigh in on the flipping tail cat...
An irritated cat flips its tail.

I've learned over the years to stifle my penchant for writing flowery prose and write tighter, but I sure want to dive into descriptive details.

T

[Elizabeth Ann West]

Another key I find to great writing is to work on speaking habits. There is a significant correlation between how one speaks and how one writes. Especially if you are like me and "hear" your writing in your head as you pen it. I've never asked others if they "hear" their writing before, but I doubt I'm the only one.

One way to improve writing therefore is to improve speech. Thankfully, my husband is always more than happy to point out when I mix up words, for example today while bowling I told my stepson: "Having fun is the secret to bowling good." Then I laughed, and corrected myself "Having fun is the secret to bowling well, but you will also have a good score!" Now, had my husband been there, he would have jumped all over me!

See if you have a close relative happy to point out your speaking mistakes, when in private of course, so you become more aware of your own speech patterns. Or, do as the Romans/Greeks did, and practice reading aloud. Oration is quickly becoming a lost art in our world. Don't worry, if crowds make you queasy, give your speech to your mirror, or hairbrush. I'm sure neither one will mind nor mock any mistakes.

Another way I constantly improve my writing is to always be reading something for fun. This exercise doesn't work when you are reading something you don't want to read. Since at the moment, I'm really into what I call chick lit (pastel hard cover books about heroines in their twenties to thirties navigating this mixed up world, predominantly placed in a large city setting like London or New York), this is what I read. While I'm reading, I notice new ways of phrasing, and learn to adopt them, or critique in my head places where it's awkward. Essentially, anytime I need to reread a sentence to grasp it's meaning, I as the reader find that to be a problem with the prose, not me. After all, the reader is queen, right?