To My Beloved Fellow Authors:
Is there anyone else here who deals with clinical depression or bipolar disorder? Maybe this isn't the right place to discuss this, but hey....it's me: Queen of Faux Pas's :D I ask because I am one who does, and just wondered how anyone else copes with it...when a truly depressive episode hits. I'm on happy pills....but alas, they don't fix everything.....and as much as I'd love to pretend that they would take away these overwhelmingly paralyzing periods of depression, they just don't. So, here I sit. Tons of shibbit I need to write, but I'm hard pressed to do little more than get up and go to the toidy occasionally. It's the equivalent of wearing a bowling-ball necklace, and steel-soled shoes. Movement and motivation have all but evaporated. I get about 3 minute bursts (like this one) where I can form coherent phrases, however, to concentrate on my assignments is nigh on impossible.
So, if anyone out there, seriously, is also dealing with the disease of depression/bipolar....and you write alot and have to deal with deadlines, can you throw me some love and let me know how you get through it. I'm not a quitter, so I can't just cancel these assignments...they are my income.....I just need a hint or a suggestion about how to get my head back above water and get to it......
Alrighty then. Carry on.
Deborah
Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
Moderators: Celeste Stewart, Ed, Constant
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DSWaltenburg
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Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
I suggest rewarding yourself when you accomplish something and giving yourself plenty of breaks. For example, sign up for Netflix and have a television series sent to you. You can tell yourself you have to write X number of words before watching an episode. You might also do this with a book, alternating work with chapters. Though autumn skies may make you want to stay indoors, go out and rake some leaves between articles.
Keep your environment friendly - make a pot of tea or coffee, light a scented candle, rearrange your work area so you have a good view of the room or out a window. Also have an animal nearby that likes to get good squeezes once in awhile. Some people say a full-spectrum lamp helps them because it imitates sunlight.
The worst thing you can do is tie yourself to the computer and stare at the screen if the motivation won't come. The longer you sit, the more sitting there becomes a punishment, like the child who can't leave the dinner table until he finishes his cold, boiled-to-death peas.
Ed
Keep your environment friendly - make a pot of tea or coffee, light a scented candle, rearrange your work area so you have a good view of the room or out a window. Also have an animal nearby that likes to get good squeezes once in awhile. Some people say a full-spectrum lamp helps them because it imitates sunlight.
The worst thing you can do is tie yourself to the computer and stare at the screen if the motivation won't come. The longer you sit, the more sitting there becomes a punishment, like the child who can't leave the dinner table until he finishes his cold, boiled-to-death peas.
Ed
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Celeste Stewart
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Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
That's great advice for all of us!
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DSWaltenburg
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Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
Thank you Ed, that is wonderful advice. So far, I've got the coffee going (with a cup that's as big around as my face), and my desk sits in the corner, looking out two windows (one on each side of the corner), and my beloved Paulie Walnuts, the oh so handsome Border Collie mutt, often lies below, though currently he's decided that he belongs in bed, curled up against the pillow. :) The trio of cats are fickle, and visit occasionally, when they want to watch the birds in the tree.
I guess there's just a shitteload of stuff going on, so I just have to wait for this to pass:
-Son went to college in August
-Husband drives truck and thusly is gone most of the time
-It's been a year and nine days since my mother-in-law passed away (and she lived right across the yard, outside the windows I face)
-My daughter has mental issues of the antisocial disorder variety and daily takes me for a nauseating rollercoaster ride
So yeah. Fall hits, finally, and it's too cold to go outside in the morning and take in the beautiful morning air and sun, and it's just empty. I'm kind of isolated from human contact, and wouldn't probably know what to do with it, if I did have any form of social life....I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel. I just get tired of this quicksand depression. Ugh.
You're right though, I do need to just get up and go outside. Got some tulip bulbs that I need to get planted for spring.....some acorns to mow over, and shoot around the yard like bullets....that should provide some release :) Thank you again Ed. Sometimes it helps just to vent.
Deborah
I guess there's just a shitteload of stuff going on, so I just have to wait for this to pass:
-Son went to college in August
-Husband drives truck and thusly is gone most of the time
-It's been a year and nine days since my mother-in-law passed away (and she lived right across the yard, outside the windows I face)
-My daughter has mental issues of the antisocial disorder variety and daily takes me for a nauseating rollercoaster ride
So yeah. Fall hits, finally, and it's too cold to go outside in the morning and take in the beautiful morning air and sun, and it's just empty. I'm kind of isolated from human contact, and wouldn't probably know what to do with it, if I did have any form of social life....I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel. I just get tired of this quicksand depression. Ugh.
You're right though, I do need to just get up and go outside. Got some tulip bulbs that I need to get planted for spring.....some acorns to mow over, and shoot around the yard like bullets....that should provide some release :) Thank you again Ed. Sometimes it helps just to vent.
Deborah
Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
Deborah,
I don't know how isolated you are or if you live in a rural area with few opportunities to meet and greet, but getting out is a great help. This last weekend a friend and I went to the big city (Cleveland) and became the wine drinking deck divas with two other women. We laughed, shared dreams, aspirations, and frustrations over rich reds and a view of Lake Erie. It has been a long time since I've had a getaway and I came back feeling rejuvenated and ready to become the warrior once again.
Call a friend and plan a day or two away. Do something different, change the scenery, and refill the well. We all come up with a myriad of reasons why we can't do something, but instead search for ways to make it happen.
I hope you wrap yourself in a shawl of warmth, but also walk out the door and share the wonder of you with one or more friends.
T
I don't know how isolated you are or if you live in a rural area with few opportunities to meet and greet, but getting out is a great help. This last weekend a friend and I went to the big city (Cleveland) and became the wine drinking deck divas with two other women. We laughed, shared dreams, aspirations, and frustrations over rich reds and a view of Lake Erie. It has been a long time since I've had a getaway and I came back feeling rejuvenated and ready to become the warrior once again.
Call a friend and plan a day or two away. Do something different, change the scenery, and refill the well. We all come up with a myriad of reasons why we can't do something, but instead search for ways to make it happen.
I hope you wrap yourself in a shawl of warmth, but also walk out the door and share the wonder of you with one or more friends.
T
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DSWaltenburg
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Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
T,
Thank you for the wonderful advice. I am isolated...out here amongst the Amish and the cornfields...and unfortunately not too close to Lake Erie! I just don't seem to gel with too many people out in the 'real' world, around these parts. Small town sentiments, gossip, and the like just are not my forte. I have about one friend other than my husband, but she works full time in Cubicle Hell and has her own family, so she's not often available for outings :(
HERE is to the day when I can leave the confines of the Waltenburg Compound, and go out on the road with my husband. May that day get here SOON!
Where are you at, T? Do you live in Ohellio, too?
Thank you for the wonderful advice. I am isolated...out here amongst the Amish and the cornfields...and unfortunately not too close to Lake Erie! I just don't seem to gel with too many people out in the 'real' world, around these parts. Small town sentiments, gossip, and the like just are not my forte. I have about one friend other than my husband, but she works full time in Cubicle Hell and has her own family, so she's not often available for outings :(
HERE is to the day when I can leave the confines of the Waltenburg Compound, and go out on the road with my husband. May that day get here SOON!
Where are you at, T? Do you live in Ohellio, too?
Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
Hi, Deborah:
I could've written your post. I have been suffering through a Great Depression for about 10 years: my daughter (now an adult I haven't seen for 15 years - her choice) is also mentally ill, my husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore, I live under the continual threat of a cancer recurrence, I moved to a place where I know no one, and on & on.
I wanted to look at things in a positive way -- I'd always wanted to write (not just dabble), and realized I was finally in the best possible position to do it (no distractions) but there were only a few CC requests I could really "get into" head-wise (however I was very pleased to know that I could really sell articles!), so I decided to write on the topics I just wanted (put that in italics) to write on, so that's what I started to do. I wrote an article called "A Woman's Guide to Starting Over," "The Admiration Junkie" (about pathological narcissism which I was unfortunately very familiar with), one about self-respect, BC gene testing, seasonal affective disorder, fibromyalgia, and migraine. They were all topics I KNEW inside and out, and was passionate about (largely from the standpoint of wanting to help others deal with them). Sure I wanted them to sell, but I also realized that they were hugely cathartic. A few have sold (bonus!) but I felt so good after submitting them that selling is the less important consideration.
Realize that all this took place during a time when I really didn't care whether I lived or died. I was in a very dark place. I'm getting better (also with the help of wonder drugs) and I believe working at CC has been a huge part of it.
to be cont.
I could've written your post. I have been suffering through a Great Depression for about 10 years: my daughter (now an adult I haven't seen for 15 years - her choice) is also mentally ill, my husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore, I live under the continual threat of a cancer recurrence, I moved to a place where I know no one, and on & on.
I wanted to look at things in a positive way -- I'd always wanted to write (not just dabble), and realized I was finally in the best possible position to do it (no distractions) but there were only a few CC requests I could really "get into" head-wise (however I was very pleased to know that I could really sell articles!), so I decided to write on the topics I just wanted (put that in italics) to write on, so that's what I started to do. I wrote an article called "A Woman's Guide to Starting Over," "The Admiration Junkie" (about pathological narcissism which I was unfortunately very familiar with), one about self-respect, BC gene testing, seasonal affective disorder, fibromyalgia, and migraine. They were all topics I KNEW inside and out, and was passionate about (largely from the standpoint of wanting to help others deal with them). Sure I wanted them to sell, but I also realized that they were hugely cathartic. A few have sold (bonus!) but I felt so good after submitting them that selling is the less important consideration.
Realize that all this took place during a time when I really didn't care whether I lived or died. I was in a very dark place. I'm getting better (also with the help of wonder drugs) and I believe working at CC has been a huge part of it.
to be cont.
Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
cont... (stupid forum wouldn't let me send another one right away - this one will probably be after you get three other replies!)
A while back Ed posted the name of a book about writing by a writer (can't remember his name - Ed, can you?) that I checked out, and he believes in essence that in order to write well we must write from a well of pain amd anger. That really took me back, but then I realized that it must be true, and I tried it with some of my articles. I even have the outline of a book started that is based on very personal pain. Not a memoir (boring) but a fictionalized piece.
I also do exactly what Ed suggested - I reward myself every few hours with something fun, because I distract myself with my thoughts so much that it's hard to concentrate sometimes. What has happened occasionally now is that I tell myself if I go mow the lawn or do laundry, I can reward myself with a few hours of writing!
I think you are one of the funniest people here - I always read your posts and have been envious of your lively personality. It's interesting to learn about another dimension of your life. Thanks for sharing.
marge
A while back Ed posted the name of a book about writing by a writer (can't remember his name - Ed, can you?) that I checked out, and he believes in essence that in order to write well we must write from a well of pain amd anger. That really took me back, but then I realized that it must be true, and I tried it with some of my articles. I even have the outline of a book started that is based on very personal pain. Not a memoir (boring) but a fictionalized piece.
I also do exactly what Ed suggested - I reward myself every few hours with something fun, because I distract myself with my thoughts so much that it's hard to concentrate sometimes. What has happened occasionally now is that I tell myself if I go mow the lawn or do laundry, I can reward myself with a few hours of writing!
I think you are one of the funniest people here - I always read your posts and have been envious of your lively personality. It's interesting to learn about another dimension of your life. Thanks for sharing.
marge
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DSWaltenburg
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Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
Marge,
It's nice (if that could even possibly BE the appropriate word) to know that someone can relate. I think, on and off, depression and whatever else is wrong with me has affected me for the better part of my life, but I didn't know or care to find out about it until just in the last 5-6 years. I've tried at least 3 antidepressants, none of which really worked until now (Cymbalta), however, I feel like a lab rat since it's still so new on the market. It's just a hard thing to deal with, and it affects the physical as well as the mental well-being....just....grrrrrrr. It gets old. And sometimes, I think I keep myself isolated so much because when I'm in the dark stages, the car is not my friend, and is how I visualize the unthinkable, so therefore, I avoid driving. I know I wouldn't do anything to myself at home.....mainly because I hate pain and don't want to cause even more pain to my family by doing something that stupid and selfish. And it's not even the 'woeismemylifeisutterhorrificpainIneedtodie' tendencies, it's just me, driving along, thinking how easy it would be to end it.... passing thoughts that I don't have control over. Scary but true. I hate it.
I know what you mean about the cathartic nature of the writing, and drawing on the pain and experiences. My husband tells me I should write a book about what's going on with our daughter. I guess I'm just waiting to see what the next chapter holds before I start writing it all out. I just hate the drama, and all the bullshite that goes along with it.....it gets so very old. I just want to live in peace, as a hermit, out in the mountains with my hoodie on, writing my manifesto :D
To be continued....
It's nice (if that could even possibly BE the appropriate word) to know that someone can relate. I think, on and off, depression and whatever else is wrong with me has affected me for the better part of my life, but I didn't know or care to find out about it until just in the last 5-6 years. I've tried at least 3 antidepressants, none of which really worked until now (Cymbalta), however, I feel like a lab rat since it's still so new on the market. It's just a hard thing to deal with, and it affects the physical as well as the mental well-being....just....grrrrrrr. It gets old. And sometimes, I think I keep myself isolated so much because when I'm in the dark stages, the car is not my friend, and is how I visualize the unthinkable, so therefore, I avoid driving. I know I wouldn't do anything to myself at home.....mainly because I hate pain and don't want to cause even more pain to my family by doing something that stupid and selfish. And it's not even the 'woeismemylifeisutterhorrificpainIneedtodie' tendencies, it's just me, driving along, thinking how easy it would be to end it.... passing thoughts that I don't have control over. Scary but true. I hate it.
I know what you mean about the cathartic nature of the writing, and drawing on the pain and experiences. My husband tells me I should write a book about what's going on with our daughter. I guess I'm just waiting to see what the next chapter holds before I start writing it all out. I just hate the drama, and all the bullshite that goes along with it.....it gets so very old. I just want to live in peace, as a hermit, out in the mountains with my hoodie on, writing my manifesto :D
To be continued....
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DSWaltenburg
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Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
The one thing that is my guilty pleasure is watching Six Feet Under. I truly don't think I've ever seen a better series...and as depressing as it may seem for some, it's actually rather amusing. I guess I have a dark and warped sense of humour.
I'm sorry for all the things you've had to cope with, Marge. I guess it's true that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. We all have our own crosses to bear....I guess it's also true that it's all about how we DEAL with what's been handed out. I knew there was a reason I liked you! What's not to like about someone named Grouchy :) Thanks for letting me hear about you. It's helpful! And, thanks for the great advice!
I'm sorry for all the things you've had to cope with, Marge. I guess it's true that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. We all have our own crosses to bear....I guess it's also true that it's all about how we DEAL with what's been handed out. I knew there was a reason I liked you! What's not to like about someone named Grouchy :) Thanks for letting me hear about you. It's helpful! And, thanks for the great advice!
Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
Marge - I think it was "The Forest for the Trees"? Does that ring a bell?
I also highly recommend David Richo's books - How to Be an Adult, When the Past is Present, etc.
http://www.davericho.com/Books.htm
They are smart, non-condescending, and pretty dense, but he doesn't bother writing a word that isn't useful or enlightening. Even if you don't see yourself in what he is describing, you can see others and begin to understand where they may be coming from.
DS - Sounds like you are in or around Columbiana County?
I also highly recommend David Richo's books - How to Be an Adult, When the Past is Present, etc.
http://www.davericho.com/Books.htm
They are smart, non-condescending, and pretty dense, but he doesn't bother writing a word that isn't useful or enlightening. Even if you don't see yourself in what he is describing, you can see others and begin to understand where they may be coming from.
DS - Sounds like you are in or around Columbiana County?
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DSWaltenburg
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Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
I'll look those up. I've every book known to man about ADHD, and a plethora of books about Bipolar, Depression, and Borderline disorders. Not too much exists online in the realm of Sociopath/Antisocial materials. :( I did read a book a few years ago about Depression and Writing....but it was WAY too depressing!
Seriously!
Don't even know where Columbiana Co. is......I'm up here in Paulding Co. Woo Freakin' HOO :D
Seriously!
Don't even know where Columbiana Co. is......I'm up here in Paulding Co. Woo Freakin' HOO :D
Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
D - I so wasn't looking for any sympathy! I just wanted you to know that I -- and probably others -- have a good sense of what you're feeling. ;-)
Ed - yes, that was it! I knew it had something to do with trees but all my mind had room for was Eats Shoots & Leaves. Thanks.
Best to all.
Grouchy
(D - now you may know why I chose that forum name!)
p.s. Thanks, Ed, for the other book recommendation.
Ed - yes, that was it! I knew it had something to do with trees but all my mind had room for was Eats Shoots & Leaves. Thanks.
Best to all.
Grouchy
(D - now you may know why I chose that forum name!)
p.s. Thanks, Ed, for the other book recommendation.
Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
No problem. Don't be a stranger!
Re: Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?
Ed- I'm still slogging through an e-book for a client so unfortunately my "water cooler" time is limited. :-(
D - all I want to add is that you may find it ultimately helpful to keep up a notebook about your daughter's -- or your own -- experiences, because if a book were ever a possibility it would be much easier for you. Maybe you already do that... The shape of your book will probably change a number of times before you find a format you like. (After several attempts mine ended up being an open letter to my daughter.) Also, I believe you can have experiences during your many trips through hell that could inspire articles along the way.
No charge for this advice. ;-}
D - all I want to add is that you may find it ultimately helpful to keep up a notebook about your daughter's -- or your own -- experiences, because if a book were ever a possibility it would be much easier for you. Maybe you already do that... The shape of your book will probably change a number of times before you find a format you like. (After several attempts mine ended up being an open letter to my daughter.) Also, I believe you can have experiences during your many trips through hell that could inspire articles along the way.
No charge for this advice. ;-}