Depression and Writing: How do you get through it?

[DSWaltenburg]

Thank you Marge :) I've got an anonymous blog right now, and at least one tablet that I started writing in, back in June, but other than that, it makes me feel weird to actually right it down....like if I commit it to screen or paper, then it's actually REAL, whereas if I never write it down, I can just forget it via my 2-second memory span, and move on. Ignorance, as they say, is truly bliss sometimes.

"Many trips through hell"....I love that! That's pretty much it....that or a never-ending Pennywise-oriented funhouse. Puke.

Good luck slogging around in your e-book assignment. Thanks for all the very wise and useful advice today! I know you weren't looking for sympathy, but occasionally I do have some to spare, when I burst out of my self-absorbed bubble!!

Deborah

[topdycke]

Deborah,

I do live in Ohellio! In fact, I live in an area that is still corn and cow country and not too far away from the Amish. I live in nw Ohio, which is part of the rust belt. The economy here has been tanking since I moved back to Ohio three years, six months, and five days ago. I can feel your frustration. It's so damn maddening when there's not even a coffee shop close by to go sit at with pen and paper and a cup of steaming coffee. I don't get out often, but when I do I feel like freedom hit me on the head and I get all giddy. My closest friend lives in Toledo (talk about a great place to live... ewwwww....) and we get together as often as possible. It takes schedule adjustments, finnagling, a hope and a promise, but we manage somehow.

I do hope you feel better soon.

T

[DSWaltenburg]

All we have here is a stupid cruddy diner, which is never open on any regular basis, or a Subway....or a bar. Woo HOO. It's too trippy you're over here on the same side as me. I'm in Antwerp. Try to find it on a map...I dare you! We're about 1.5 hours south of Toledo, the sweaty armpit of Ohio, and about 2 inches from the Indiana line. My husband drives out of Findlay, but he always brings his truck home, so he doesn't have to commute too much, thank GOD!!

I'm hoping I'll feel better soon, too! Helloween is my favorite time of the year, so I guess I'd better do something to get out of this slump! Thanks for the uplift!

[topdycke]

Not only can I find Antwerp on the map...I've been there numerous times. There used to be an herb shop in Antwerp that was pretty cool, but the thing I loved most was the old A&W Drive-in. Is it still there? I've not been to Antwerp since I moved back.

I live in Montpelier. It's not only part of the armpit of Ohio... it is THE armpit of Williams County. hahaha

In all seriousness, though, Ohio does have some good things about it. It's often the salt of the earth with caring, giving people, at least where I come from it is. Columbus is a great city and I love visiting there. I miss the energy of the east coast and beauty of the ocean, but this is where I grew up and where my roots are, so I can't bad-mouth it too much...or can I?

T

[DSWaltenburg]

That's too cool. Yes, the A&W is still up and running, seasonally. Under different ownership again, but still the same gut-deteriorating foodstuffs!! I'm trying to think if I've been to Montpelier....I think I was at least once, when my son was in HS track, but not sure. Doesn't 49 run through there? I did take a wrong turn/adventurous route on the way back from Findlay one day and ended up WAY WAY WAY north of Napoleon on 24 in some little town on the Maumee, so I was probably closer at that point!

No herb shop anymore in Antwerp :( I wish there were SOMETHING like that here!

True there are lots of caring and giving individuals around here, you just have to wade through the muck of the nosy, gossipy, smalltown-smallmind syndrome that comes with it! :( So, there are good points to the state, and there are, of course, those points that make all of us want to escape! Columbus is ok, and I suppose I should get used to it since I'm gonna have to drive through it now on a semi-regular basis. My son took off and moved down to Portsmouth (trying to escape via the southern route!)to college.

So, hey, howdy somewhat neighbor! :)

[Ed]

Portsmouth has a college?! ;)

[DSWaltenburg]

If that's what you want to call it :) He picked it, not me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shawnee State University (makes it sound all big and importantA. The campus isn't so bad.....the town however.....is kinda scary looking at first glance. Me, I had dreams of him going to MIT, but apparently he didn't feel my aspirations to be matching of his :)

I don't care, as long as he's happy, and getting the education he wants to do what it is he wants to do......
(although, I don't think SSU offers a degree in World Domination).....

:D

[cgardener]

Deborah,

I have Clinical Depression, so I can really understand where you are coming from. This is why I have so many blogs, one in particular where I can rant on any subject. When I can't wrap my mind around an article subject, sometimes I go write there, or I go read some blogs. Most times, reading gives me ideas. For instance, I'll go to a site like Hubpages or Ezine articles, search for the subject I'm going to be writing on, and just read, read, read.

You know I just lost my mother, so I've been pretty down. I didn't want to do anything. I grabbed a request, started it, then put it back, then decided it was too long, then started it again. It took me three days, but I finally submitted it today, and it was approved. I doubt it will sell for that request, but it was a very long article, so I'm pretty proud of myself just for finishing it.

Sometimes I take a break from trying to struggle with the requests and just write something for fun. I did that yesterday, with a halloween article, and priced it pretty cheaply, and it sold overnight! Something like that really cheers me up.

[DSWaltenburg]

Deb,

Lately I've just been distracting myself, and piddling around with some 'self-marketing' ideas... :D Sometimes I wish we could exchange linkies and stuff here, just so we could all get to know each other that much better, but o well. I know I've got to get back into the serious stuff today, so I can make some more buckages......this month wasn't as good as the first month, so I'm trying hard to get back in the groove.

I've been living with depression so long, that it's like a habit, but still I hate it when it really kicks in. It kicks my arse all over the place! I have learned, at least in the past 5 yrs or so, however, that I can't mess around with stopping and starting the meds....because then it just gets worse!! So, I have to be constantly happy-tized (:D) just to maintain.

I wrote a 'fluffier' piece over the weekend for that Wedding Invitation request, but I think it got buried under all of BEConrad's stuff!! She is a MACHINE!!! O well, even if it doesn't sell, it makes my inventory look all purdy. :D

[HayleyWriter]

Hi Deb,

I too have some clinical depression and I think it is great that you can discuss such things in this forum. While I am not at all local to you (writing from the other side of the world in Sydney!), I know that the forum discussions are a link to the writing community which I don't always have access to in my social or work life. It's nice to know other writers who suffer from mental blockages and the other issues that I face too. It makes me feel a lot less alone!
My trick for getting through the tough days:
I am discovering that doing some exercise is really doing wonders. I'm basically obese with some hormone issues, and my favourite trick when I couldn't find something to write about or was sick of staring at the computer screen was to wander towards the fridge and nibble on something (usually something disgustingly yummy like chocolate cake!). Lately, I've been trying to lose weight (and succeeding too amazingly!) so I have increased my exercise. One of the side effects that hardly anyone ever talks about is the lift in my spirits. "They" (the kind of they that we don't know who said it but lots of people seem to agree) reckon it is the release of hormones that happen during exercise. I don't know but I can tell you that about 20 minutes after I exercise (like aerobics or something really active) I feel fantastic, like I am on top of the world. I also find that my mind is fresher and I work much better. The writing just seems to flow afterwards. Maybe you could go for a walk around the cornfields or something to get your mind back into the real world of writing for profit!

Kind regards,

Hayley

[MediaMaven]

I don't get major depressive episodes, but I get "bummed out" some days when I can't even look at the laptop and I don't want to do anything but lay in bed and stare at the wall.

The first thing I do is a preventative measure; I exercise a lot. Wasn't there a study recently that showed that exercise can be just as effective as antidepressants? Don't do exercise you hate either. I hate running and cardio, but I love weight lifting and strength exerise - so that's what I do most.

Secondly, if I do hit a bummed out period I set a time limit. So I'll tell myself that being bummed out is OK, but it's only allowed to last a day, maybe two. I give myself permission to stay in bed, ignore the chores, and eat whatever the heck I want. I guess I have a "mind over matter" approach.

[DSWaltenburg]

Thanks Hayley and Maven, I know what you mean about the positive effects of exercise. My issue is just GETTING THERE to DO it. Added to which now I've got some physical issues to deal with, so I just keep putting it off. I am queen of procrastination! Pretty sad, I know, when the treadmill is but a few rooms away. Sitting there. Lonely. Abandoned.

I did sign up for eDiets again about 3 weeks ago, however, I really did it just to have access to the fitness portion of the program. I did eDiets about 5 yrs ago, and really liked the workouts, and they used to sell the fitness memberships seperately, but now, it's all combined :( bummer. So, I'm gonna print off all the exercises, and then go on my merry way with that.

I know once I get into it again, I'll be better. One millimeter at a time, eh? :)

[HayleyWriter]

Absolutely! Baby steps will still get you closer towards that treadmill or feeling better! You are not alone. I think many writers become very good at procastination (or maybe we become writers because we have perfected the art and need a job that allows some days when we just have time out and don't need to write so much and other days when the words just flow. You'll get there!

[JulianeAnders]

Well seeing as I seem to be the only other person with bipolar, I will give you some real advice.

I am not exactly sure about the depression, as I know it hits female bipolars more often than males. I haven't had a major depressive episode in years. I would much rather be neutral or slightly manic. If I ever hit a depressive slump, I would sleep about 14 hours a day for a few days or so. Having to work a "normal" job will just make your condition difficult to manage.

I eventually shut off all my emotion. I'm not sure how I did it.

I will probably go on lithium soon. The main problem is that bipolar disorder kills neurons over time, especially if you hit manic states. Lithium has been shown to cause an increase of 15% in gray brain matter, especially in the hippocampus which helps controls memory and concentration.

If you want to know the secret to crank out an article every 10 minutes for 24 straight hours, (or more) then go to your doctor and try to obtain some Adderall. You have no idea. I would study for a semester final the night before the test.

All I can say is, make the most of your manic periods. When you are in the mood to do some writing, don't waste the time, just start.

I have also found it helps when I write at night in a fairly dark room. Usually bipolars don't react well to too much sunlight.

I have found that exercise has no real effect on bipolar disorder, although it may help your general health if you are overweight. I have always been skinny though, so that may be why I have more manic periods.

What you should try as well is full spectrum lighting. Get some of those GE reveal bulbs and work underneath them for a couple hours a night. They help with the circadian rhythm.

Some days I will write 30 articles a day, sometimes zero. I find it best to switch up jobs as well, so that you aren't constantly grinding on the same project.
I wrote about 20 yesterday. As long as you can sit down for five hours.

[JulianeAnders]

And never take baby steps. By the time you get through with a couple steps, you will forget or just give up on what you started.

Try to do things that can be accomplished within a hour. Articles are a good example of a project that can be completed in a short period of time and provide you with a good cash flow.

I will say to myself, "Okay, just crank out four articles, as it will only take a hour." Then after that hour, I will do another four, or maybe I will take a break, or work on my other jobs.

If you work a regular job, you really need to get off of that. It is a living hell not being able to sleep or wake up whenever you need to. My schedule simply doesn't exist. I have no sleep cycle, and just sleep when I want to and work however hard I feel like working.