Help me fix this sentence

A place where authors can exchange ideas or thoughts. Talk about what categories are hot and which ones are not.

Moderators: Celeste Stewart, Ed

Locked
Lysis
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:08 pm
Contact:

Help me fix this sentence

Post by Lysis »

I'm a little frustrated, so maybe that's why I don't see it. I submitted an article and received a rejection. In the rejection, it had this sentence from my article. I know I can rearrange the sentence, or even delete it, but can someone point out my error so I can correct it next time?

After eating fatty food, the gallbladder releases bile into the small intestines where it is excreted from the body.
Ed
Posts: 4686
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:15 pm

Re: Help me fix this sentence

Post by Ed »

This sentence implies the gallbladder has eaten fatty food.
stephanie
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:34 pm

Re: Help me fix this sentence

Post by stephanie »

After eating fatty food, the gallbladder releases bile into the small intestines where it is excreted from the body.
I understand it's not the gallbladder that's eaten the fatty food; but I'm not sure what's excreted from the body -- the food or the bile. Also, maybe instead of "where it is excreted" should read "after which it is excreted".
Ed
Posts: 4686
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:15 pm

Re: Help me fix this sentence

Post by Ed »

Great point.

" . . . intestines, which excrete (what) from the body."
Lysis
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:08 pm
Contact:

Re: Help me fix this sentence

Post by Lysis »

jeeez, damn, now I totally see it. :-/

Thank you both.
Ed
Posts: 4686
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:15 pm

Re: Help me fix this sentence

Post by Ed »

For anyone interested, the following page on dangling modifiers may be helpful:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/597/01/
Lysis
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:08 pm
Contact:

Re: Help me fix this sentence

Post by Lysis »

Thank you for the link.

After you pointed it out, I completely see it. I think I'm gonna take a break from CC and writing for a couple of days. I feel dumb not seeing it , which suggests I need sleep. :D I was pretty proud of that article, and I love the health stuff, but I really hate making dumb mistakes like that. My dog will appreciate the fresh air with her momma. :D

Thank you again!
Locked