Constructive Criticism Thread

[SamSimmons]

Hoping for some quick help here:

You might have a Craft Sale, a garage sale of sorts.

Is there a better way to word that sentence?

Thanks,

Sam

[Celeste Stewart]

I wouldn't capitalize "Craft Sale." Other than that, the sentence seems fine.
You might have a craft sale, a garage sale of sorts.

[SamSimmons]

Thanks for pointing that out :)

[cleocat2001]

This article has been rejected twice and I can't submit it again. I can understand why it was rejected the first time because I had punctuation errors. Not my strong point. I ran it through Whitesmoke a couple of times and no errors. If the editor use a software program to scan the articles there will obviously be spelling mistakes. None if the names here are recognised by the software, but other than that I have no clue as to what else can be wrong.The spelling of the names are, however, correct according to the hard copies of the text I use. I would appreciate it if someone can have a look and let me know.

Thanks
Annette




A tragic hero is always from noble birth. Creon is the King of Thebes and Antigone is a princess, the daughter of Oedipus, the late king of Thebes. Therefore, both Antigone and Creon fit the profile of the tragic hero, in this instance.
An error of judgement is normally what leads to the downfall of a tragic hero. Again, can it be argued that both Creon and Antigone made an error of judgement.
Antigone was prepared to go against Creon's will to bury her brother Polyneices. To her it was more important to obey the laws of the gods. She believed that Polyneices would not be able to rest, unless he had a proper burial with the appropriate burial rites. As burials were very much the responsibility of the women, Antigone knew it was up to her and Ismene to ensure Polyneices got buried. She stood alone in this as her sister Ismene was too afraid of Creon to stand up to him.
Creon, on the other hand, appeared to be the villain that refused Polyneices this right. It is true that he was a typical Greek male of the times and had no regard for a woman's views. He believed, as all males of the time, that woman should be out of sight and not interfere in the matters of the country and definitely not go against any decree from the king. What cannot be ignored here is that as a Greek man and the king, his main task was to protect his kingdom from the enemy. To him, Polyneices was the enemy as he attacked Thebes. For enemies, there are no burial rights.
Both Antigone and Creon were very stubborn in their views. Being Antigone and Polyneices’ uncle the audience expects more empathy from Creon, but he was adamant in punishing whoever went against his decree. Not even Haemon, his own son who was engaged to Antigone, could soften his hart.
Antigone was prepared to die for burying her brother and stayed stubborn until the end when Creon had her locked up, and she eventually committed suicide.
Creon didn’t at first want to listen to the prophet Tiresias and it was only after his conversation with the elders, who formed the Chorus, that he started doubting his decision. Strangely enough he insisted on burying Polyneices first before he went to free Antigone. One has to wonder if it was still his pride that stopped him from going to Antigone first.

[KMartin]

Annette,

I am still fairly new here, and still "learning the ropes" as they say, however, I'm not sure we should be posting an entire article in any of the threads. I just read on the first post, by Ed, on this topic that search engines also scan forums for indexing articles.

BTW, in third paragraph down and second line, I think using the word "women" instead of "woman," sounds more appropriate. It may not be much for me to offer, but every little bit helps, as the saying goes

Karl

[Celeste Stewart]

I assume these are excerpts? If not, I'd want to see more of an introduction rather than jumping into all of the explanations. For example, The story of ____ is a classic Greek tragedy filled with. . . Without it, I was a little confused. Plus with so many characters with funny names, it was hard for me to keep track of who's who. Of course, if these are just excerpts, then that's part of it. If not, as a reader I'd need a little more guidance navigating through the story.

I would argue with the statement "A tragic hero is always from noble birth" as I'm not sure that's true. Maybe in the classic sense? If so, clarify that. Spelling: judgement - should be judgment (no 'e') and "soften his hart" should be "soften his heart."

Yeah, we should delete the article in the thread so it doesn't get indexed by the search engines. Let me know when you're ready for it to go away and I'll be happy to remove it. Usually posting a couple of sentences is okay but large chunks could be problematic.

[cleocat2001]

Thanks for looking at it. I think I understand the problem. It is not the complete article. I wrote it with the assumption that the reader knows the text. I can understand it can be extremely confusing to someone not familiar with the text. In Greek theatre the tragic hero is always from noble birth. It is one of the characteristics of a tragic hero. I'm not concerned about the copyright of the article. I had it published many years ago in a literary magazine. I just worked on it a bit.

Judgement is another problem. In South African English it is the correct spelling. Judgment looks very funny to me. I couldn't believe it when I saw the spelling in the American spell check. It's silly spelling mistakes, so I should really check each word.

Thanks, in any case, it gives me a much clearer idea of what is expected.

[Celeste Stewart]

Ignore 'judgment' then. CC accepts both US and UK spelling, so go with your correct version. I wasn't aware that judgment was one of those words that goes either way

I would add the tidbit that in Greek theatre the hero is always from noble birth. That would be interesting to readers. Makes me want to go searching for a non-noble tragic Greek hero to see for myself

[cleocat2001]

Just for interest sake, even in Shakespeare's time you will find that the tragic heroes were from noble birth or at least the aristocracy like Romeo and Juliet. The others like Macbeth, King Lear,Hamlet etc were all from noble birth. The Greek heroes (in the tragedies) were always a king or princess. Antigone, Oedipus, Creon, etc. A tragic hero also had no control over his or her fate and they always made a judgement error that lead to a downfall.

It was only during the period of Realism that the ordinary person became the "hero" or protagonist. Tragedies about ordinary people in ordinary situations appeared. Much later the anti-hero came into action, especially in the Absurd plays.

I'm too scared to submit another article now because the first submission was in the wrong file format. I'm a bit challenged when it comes to the technical side of computer issues. A doc., docx or whatever seems like the same thing to me, but I'm learning. The 2nd time there were errors and even now when I thought it was perfect there are still some errors. I don't want my account suspended because I've got photos on there and plan on doing some illustrations as well.

Obviously, I'm not going to submit this article again because my rejection note said, "don't submit this again" or something to that effect. Maybe I should just leave it and stick with the photos.

Celeste you are stunning. Thanks you were a great help. I'm even too scared to submit this. I swear there is an error somewhere.

[Celeste Stewart]

Too bad I didn't pay attention in school. I know I attended classes, I know I read Homer's Odessey, the Illyiad, and countless Shakespeare plays - but my mind comes up completely blank on these topics. It all sounds so much more interesting now than it did then.

Take your time and keep on trying. The three strikes rule is subjective. CC's understanding about the early submissions - docx errors, etc.

[cleocat2001]

Don't worry you are not alone. After studying theatre for many years I'm only,really, learning now that I started teaching it.

Thanks again. You were a great help.

[Amy W]

It's been a while since I read it, so I could be wrong. But I don't think Othello was of noble blood. Is he the exception? BTW, if anyone wants to see a real horror movie, the version of Othello starring Lawrence Fishburne was really good - it gave me chills.

[cleocat2001]

I haven't really done a lot of reading on Othello. There are writers that claim he was of noble birth before he became a slave. Don't know if that is true. He was a general, which gives him a higher status, more on par with the aristocracy, of the time. Romeo was also seen as a tragic hero and, even though, he wasn't a prince or king, he was from the aristocracy. So was Juliet. With Othello it was, most likely, more his character qualities that made him a person of "noble birth". There are many different views on who the real tragic heroes are. I doubt if you will ever get a clear cut answer on this. When Aristotle defined the tragic hero as a person of noble birth he referred to a person of a high status. In the Greek plays it was normally kings etc. as that was the perception of the times. A modern tragic hero would be of high status but not necessarily a king or queen.

Maybe I should research this a bit more. It could make an interesting article.
Aristotle also said: "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

[cleocat2001]

After studying theatre for many years I'm only,really, learning now that I started teaching it.

How can anybody write such a bad sentence???

[Amy W]

I definately think you should write an article on Shakespeare's tragic heros - I for one would love to read it! Now I'm all interested in Othello again! I was always taught that Othello started as a slave and worked his way up to general - quite a modern idea for Shakespeare's time.

And don't worry about your sentence - we've all written awkward sentences. You should see my first drafts of articles!