Quick grammar question

[NealGreene]

Had an article rejected for grammar mistake, this was quoted in the mail: -

"You can forget that the little things add up, and come the end of the month may be wondering where your hard-earned cash has gone."

I believe this is a perfectly good sentence, but on second thoughts realised that "come the end of the month" could have been where it was rejected. It's perfectly good English, but maybe a little too 'English'?

[AnneM]

I don't think it's the "come the end of the month" that's the problem. The sentence does sound a bit awkward (to me at least) and flows better with an additional "you".

"You can forget that the little things add up, and come the end of the month you may be wondering where your hard-earned cash has gone."

[Debbi]

Something more direct and less passive?

It's easy to forget that the little things add up. At month's end you may wonder where all your hard-earned cash went.

[aprilk10]

I immediately noticed the need for an additional "you" as well. You might also consider replacing the word "come" with either "at" or "by." Alternatively, you could break the awkwardness down into two sentences:

"You can forget that the little things add up, and at the end of the month you may be wondering where your hard-earned cash has gone."

or...

You can forget that the little things add up quickly. At the end of the month, you may find yourself wondering where your hard-earned cash has gone." (Does that comma belong there?)

[NealGreene]

Thanks for all the suggestions, I appreciate the feedback!

[Elizabeth Ann West]

"You can forget that the little things add up, and come the end of the month may be wondering where your hard-earned cash has gone."

I would argue that those are two separate thoughts. You could make them separate sentences, or use a semicolon and drop the and.

"You can forget the little things add up; come the end of the month you may wonder where your hard-earned cash went."

This drops the extra "that," removes the passive voice for the active "wonder," and uses simple past tense instead of past perfect tense (the "has").

Hope that helps