Article rejected for first person - questions

[CraigKeeble]

I just had an article rejected for use of first person. Here is the excerpt from the article in which I used first person.

"I ask you to consider what exactly makes someone human. Is it their bodies, their organs, their insides? Is it a soul? Is it perhaps simply the human brain, the powerhouse of everything, the central part of every persons essence? Is it the capacity to feel?"

I only used first person as a way of phrasing a question and offered no first person perspective or opinion. I addressed the reader as the author and asked them to think - why is this not allowed? I understand completely not using "I" in order to show personal experiences and the likes due to the nature of the site, but the "I" in this case seems unobtrusive and does not detract from the professional quality of my article. Would it be better if I changed it to "Consider exactly what makes someone human." instead?

I'm not questioning the rule as a whole but would just like some clarity as to why my article was rejected for this, as it does not seem to cause any of the problems that normal use of first person does.

Thanks for your time.

Craig.

[jadedragon]

The "I ask you to" part adds nothing while intruding the author's voice into the article. Just revise as you suggested to avoid 1st person POV.

[Amy W]

jadedragon's right - you don't need the first person POV here. Why don't you just start the paragraph with the question, "What exactly makes someone human?" I would also revise the rest of the paragraph - a "human" is singular, but you mention "their bodies, their organs" - all plural. Stick to either singular or plural.

[4rumid]

Also (depending what you do with the singular/plural issue), you forgot the apostrophe in "every persons essence" --"every person's essence."

[CraigKeeble]

I can't believe I can mess up so much in a single paragraph. Maybe I'm not cut out for this level of writing at the moment.

[Celeste Stewart]

It's just a matter of proofreading and practice. Feel free to post a few excerpts in the Constructive Criticism thread and you'll get lots of extra eyeballs helping you finetune your writing.

[CraigKeeble]

Thanks for the support Celeste. Next time I get a rejection I'll be sure to come and see what you can find wrong.

[Elizabeth Ann West]

Also Craig, there are a multitude of ways to word something. Just that sentence, I didn't need to use something. I could have written:
Also Craig, there are a multitude of ways to word your writing.
Also Craig, there are a multitude of ways to word a phrase.
and on and on. I could have swapped many for multitude of.

The nice thing about writing at this level is we are all word geeks. As long as you let criticism roll off your back, and realize it's about the writing not you, you'll be fine.

As far as your original passage, you can still address the reader without the "I ask you to consider..." Just cut it off before "Consider"

"Consider for a moment your own mortality...."
"Consider if you will, that the defendant's intent was to save the woman, not kill her."
etc.

Welcome to C-C.