I received both an acceptance and rejection letter

[Judith]

I received an e-mail saying my article had been accepted and sent on to a customer for review. Then about 15 minutes later I got an e-mail stating the same article was rejected. I don't know if it was actually sent to the customer or not.

I was given the example, Article exhibits problems with awkward wording. Awkward wording can include awkward word order, unclear/wordy phrasing, and phrasing that does not sound natural to a native English speaker's ear. Please try to make your point in a concise, grammatically correct manner.

Example: Meals combining rice or other grains with legumes produce a perfect (source of) protein.

My concern is that what I stated is correct and the change suggested is incorrect. Grains and legumes do produce a perfect protein, not a "perfect source of protein" which I find to be misleading as protein and perfect protein are not the same thing. It's an important fact as the combination of these two foods produce the only perfect protein. I certainly don't want to upset anyone but I also can't write something that isn't true. Any suggestions on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated. I want to resubmit but I don't want to sound like a snob or a complainer.

Thanks, in advance, for any suggestions.

[HayleyWriter]

Since most readers would be unfamiliar with the term perfect protein, you may want to offer an explanation or a description of the term in the article, before you use it throughout the rest of the article. That way the editors and readers will clearly understand what you mean and that the sentence you have written is not an example of awkward phrasing.

[Evelyn]

You would remove ambiguity if you used the more familiar phrase, "complete" protein. And explain what that means if you want to; it depends on the rest of your article whether the reader would be silly enough to not know what a complete protein is.

[Debbi]

That sentence sounds odd to me:

"Meals combining rice or other grains with legumes produce a perfect (source of) protein."

Do "meals" produce a perfect (or complete) protein? Isn't it the combination of the grain and the legume that makes a perfect protein?

Maybe "Combining a grain like rice and a legume like beans produces a perfect protein for any meal."

[Judith]

Thanks for the responses everyone! I do appreciate you taking the time to offer me some good suggestions After being married for 25 years to a PhD in nutrition I am very careful about the phrasing of words particularly in the area of proteins and enzymes. I think I am going to hold this article for awhile and write something more general for here. I'm still very new to this site and learning what goes best here.

[HayleyWriter]

Hi Judith,

I understand your problem. Sometimes when we writers are experts in a particular field, it is difficult to write for the "joe blow" who doesn't know about the topic at all. We assume that everyone knows what we know and that's how technical words or "jargon" can creep into our writing. When I write on a topic that I know well, I always get someone else who doesn't know the topic so well to read the article before I submit it. If they question a term I used and think it doesn't make sense, I go back and rewrite that section with a clearer explanation of the term. Hopefully, that way I can avoid the use of jargon or unexplained technical language. I try to write articles that anyone can read and understand to sell here and that seems to work well.

Writing articles on nutrition is a great idea, especially since you do know the topic so well, but just try to keep the projected audience in mind. Unless the article is aimed at a specific market of well-trained nutritionists, (which limits your market), you'll find that articles on nutrition and health sell to all sorts of websites from websites offering parenting advice to those offering specific medical advice. Generally, the readers of these websites are ordinary people who may not have a good knowledge of nutrition, but are looking to learn more. Offering information in a way that explains the more complex terms while giving examples of how to use that information in daily life makes an article well worth reading. Keep the audience in mind and you'll find it easier to avoid editorial comments of awkward wording. (Personally, I hadn't heard of either a "perfect" protein or a "complete" protein, so it wouldn't have mattered which term you used, it would not have made sense to me as a reader).

Wishing you the best of luck here,

KInd regards,

Hayley

[Celeste Stewart]

If "perfect protein" is a known term used in nutrition circles, it's possible that the editors aren't aware of that. It's impossible for them to be experts in industry terminologies for all industries and an industry term may simply look awkward to the linguists inside of them. So, if that is an actual term, I'd mention it in the summary or introduce the term in the article such as, "Nutritionists use the term "perfect protein" to denote blah, blah, blah." Then when the questionable sentence comes along, the word choice no longer seems awkward because the reader now understands the term is used according to industry convention.

[Judith]

Thanks Hayley and Celeste for more good info. I have added it to my notebook. All these suggestions will definitely save me time and frustration. I do appreciate it! I had never thought about using the summary in such a creative way but you can be sure I will. Thanks again!

[jadedragon]

Sounds like you could just put in a sentence to explain the term perfect protein and the article can be resubmitted. Nutrition is a got topic that sells well. Great area to write on.