Keep Getting Rejected Article How to treat Impotence in Men

[sarasentor]

I have tried everything to get my article accepted even getting it edited. I keep getting it back on terms of 'grammatcial issues'. What do I do? Here is the start of my article:

Definition of Impotence
Impotence is a common term also known as ED or Erectile Dysfunction. It is defined ‘...as the inability of a male, to get and/or maintain an erection’. Impotence is a generic term and may have different causes. That is why before treatment of impotence begins, it is essential to understand the causes of impotence.

Causes of Impotence
The causes of impotence vary and may be both physical and psychological. Though it is a very common problem, many men fail to get treatment as they are socially embarrassed. Statistics prove; about 1 in 9 men in the USA have some form of impotence.

Physical causes of impotence
Age: One of the most common causes of impotence is age. Many men notice a decline in their sexual need as they become older. Men may sexually healthy, but as they grow older, their sexual drive decreases.
Medical Problems: Men who have a disease such as alcoholism, diabetes or cancer or may be taking medication for chronic health problems may experience a decreased sexuality and have problems getting an erection.
Medication: Sometimes medication taken for an acute condition may cause side effects that include impotence. Studies have shown that medication taken for blood pressure causes temporary impotence as do some diet pills.

[jadedragon]

I see several errors. Many men notice a decline in their sexual needs or (desires) as they become older. Men may be sexually healthy, but as they grow older, their sexual drive decreases. (no commas required)

[Celeste Stewart]

I noticed a couple of punctuation errors:

It is defined ‘...as the inability of a male, to get and/or maintain an erection’.

It is defined as 'the inability of a male to get and/or maintain an erection'.
Or even without the quotes:
It is defined as the inability of a male to get and/or maintain an erection.

Statistics prove; about 1 in 9 men in the USA have some form of impotence.

Statistics prove: (not semi-colon)
In this case, I wouldn't use the colon because there's only one statistic listed and not dramatic enough to warrant a strong punctuation mark like the colon. Instead, try:
Statistics prove that about 1 in 9 men in the USA have some form of impotence.

Missing word:

Men may sexually healthy, but as they grow older, their sexual drive decreases.

Men may *be* sexually healthy, but as they grow older, their sexual drive decreases *their sex drives decrease*.

[sarasentor]

Thank you both for your input. However, the commas pointed out as unnecessary were inserted after the editors suggested the article did not make use of proper commas, specifically pointing out these sentences. Last two time the rejection was on the base of commas-this time it was simply 'errors'.

[webscribe]

In addition to jadedragon and Celeste's suggestions, I would also look at the following sentence.

Men who have a disease such as alcoholism, diabetes or cancer or may be taking medication for chronic health problems may experience a decreased sexuality...

For clarity, I would repeat the relative pronoun at the beginning of the second subordinate clause:

... or who may be taking medication ...

Also, there is a questionable word usage further in the sentence. I'm not sure that someone can experience a decreased sexuality. It's sort of like saying a decreased gender. However, someone can experience a decrease/increase in sex drive:

... may experience a decreased sex drive ...

[sarasentor]

Thanks all. I think I will rewrite rather than trying to reword. Maybe that will be easier.

[Lysis]

After a second rejection on an article, I give up and post it somewhere else. I don't know. Sometimes, it just seems like it's not meant to be. LOL It doesn't happen often. I think it's happened about 3 times for me.

[CRDonovan]

Or just put it aside for a while, and come back to it in a few weeks after you've had other articles accepted. Amazing what a fresh eye will see.