Grammar error

[damianperez]

Hello everyone,

This is the message I received:
==== Editorial Information for Your Article: ====

" If possible, going to bed 15-30 minutes closer to the newly set bedtime each night allows the body to progressively adapt to the change" --- check for missing punctuation *this sentence is missing a period. /// "These are a few of the questions one should ask them self when assessing their needs in a bed." --- grammar error *Should be "himself" or "herself." Also change "their" to "his" or "her" ///

==== End Editorial Information for Your Article ====

The punctuation error is pretty simple because I simply forgot to type in the period, but it is the grammar error I'm having a bit more trouble with. I was wondering if anyone could help me with rephrasing this sentence so that it doesn't require me to put them self, himself, or herself. If this is not possible maybe a suggestion as to how to fix the sentence. Also, this is my first time submitting to constant content and as an English major I believe I have a pretty strong grasp on writing with grammatical and rhetorical clarity. However, being new to cc, I am still not entirely sure as to the inner mechanics of the review process so I had a few more questions. Will I have to wait another approximately 3 days for this article to be reviewed again? If this is the only editorial information, does that mean that these are the only mistakes and once they are fixed the article will be accepted? Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time out of their day to assist me with these questions.

[HayleyWriter]

The problem is that "one" can't be "them" or "their", which is plural. Gramatically, your sentence as given, should be: " These are a few of the questions one should ask himself when assessing his needs in a bed." However, I find that writing like this is awkward anyway. I prefer to address the reader directly, by using the pronoun, you. If you do this, you will need to change the entire article to read the same way. This is less confusing and avoids gender issues or plural / singular confusion.

"These are a few of the questions you can ask yourself when assessing your needs in a bed."

The sentence is still convoluted and awkward though. You could try rephrasing the sentence again for clarity. Try something like: "Answering these questions will help you to decide on the features you need in a bed."

Good luck with your article.

It is better to spend time reviewing your article after a rejection and get it right, especially as a new writer here. You will not want to risk another rejection. Don't stress about the timing, but focus on submitting your best work to the site and the sales will come!

Good luck,

Hayley

[Celeste Stewart]

Hello and welcome. Looks like Hayley and I were writing at the same time so some of my advice is the same.

One way to gauge whether the reviewer might have read the entire article or not is where the specific error is located. For example, title and short summary errors could be a sign that once discovered, the article was rejected outright. On the other hand, if your grammar error was located deep inside the article, it's probably the only major concern. Other than that, we'd have to be mind readers to know for sure.

As far as the second error, CC tends to like a less formal voice when it comes to using the term "one" when referring to people in general. This particular sentence has that formality issue as well as an issue with plural/singular pronouns. For example, if referring to "one" person, the pronoun isn't "their" as their is plural and "one" is singular. Thus the recommendation to use either "his" or "her." A lot of writers like the ambiguity of "their" because they don't have the gender issue to deal with, but you'd have to make the initial reference plural to match.

Original sentence:

These are a few of the questions one should ask them self when assessing their needs in a bed."

(CC's note: --- grammar error *Should be "himself" or "herself." Also change "their" to "his" or "her")

Suggestions:
* These are a few of the questions to consider when assessing your needs in a bed. (If the article uses second person voice in general, use "you." If not, the shift in this suggestion could be too jarring so consider the article's voice as a whole.)
* These are a few of the questions people should ask when assessing their needs in a bed. (people/their)
* These are a few of the questions one should ask when considering a new bed. (one/pronoun avoided by rewording)

[damianperez]

Thank you both for the advice and help. I will most likely change it to "you" and try to rephrase it to sound less awkward. This shouldn't be a problem since most of the article addressing the reader in this way. I guess I tried changing it to "one" and "them self" because i felt the use of "you" was become redundant or overused and failed to identify the problem in my proof readings. Awkward phrasings seem to be a problem for me as well as some other intricacies of grammatical writing. Outside of the English courses I am currently enrolled in, are there any free resources I can use to help with these more difficult aspects?

To Celeste: I was asking if the editors actually read the entire article and then post comments on all the errors that result in rejection or if they reject it as soon as they find enough errors. I am assuming from your response that there are times when there are more errors than what is cited for correction. In this particular case, the second error appeared in the last paragraph of the last subheading in an approximately 1570 word article and the punctuation error in the first paragraph of the first subheading. I'm assuming this means that these are the only two errors that need to be fixed. I will proofread it once last time, however, to ensure that there is nothing else that was missed that might be picked up on the next submission.

[Celeste Stewart]

You're welcome. The editors will often reject an article immediately after encountering initial errors. They do not necessarily continue reading and pointing out errors though sometimes they will. I imagine the current workload and other constraints may play a role in how far the editors go before issuing the "needs revision" message.

An article with several mistakes in the first paragraph would likely be sent back without the editor reading the whole article with the expectation that the writer would do a better job of proofing the entire piece before resubmitting it. Since your error is near the end of the article, that's a good sign that the editor made it to the end and this is the only revision required. I'd still do a thorough proofreading job to be safe but it's a better sign than an error noted near the beginning. Let us know once the article is accepted (and again when it's sold!).

[damianperez]

I'd like to once again express my appreciation for all the help. As an aside, I'd like to note how refreshing it was having read information (interviews of, tips on CC, CC reviews, etc.) from both Celeste and Hayley, and seeing you both so active, engaging, and helpful in the forums.

[jadedragon]

Celeste and Hayley both rock They are pretty generous with their time yet sell a lot of work here. Sounds like those are your only errors and the editor was nice enough to be very specific about the issues for you. You've got a great future so get writing and be ready for the sales.

[ThisOldMan]

If I were to use the gender neutral tone, I would say something like this:
"These are a few of the questions one should ask oneself when assessing one's needs in a bed".

What I would actually write, would be more like this:
"What are you looking for in a bed?' or 'Is that what you are looking for in a bed?'

Offhand, I would say that any article can do with a 10% trimming to reduce the flab without disfiguring the shape. Remember that net surfers are, generally speaking, an impatient lot. People who enjoy a leisurely read would curl up in a warm bed with an old-fashioned book.

But then again, what I have just written is probably pure drivel because, after ten submissions and four approvals, I still have not even sold one single teeny eeny leetle arteekel yet. The operative word here, hopefully, is 'yet'.

Hope you don't mind this silly sputtering from
Hallelujah Lovelight.
I spy a loving light in your lovely eyes.

[damianperez]

It's nice to see you active on the forums as well Jade. It was your interviews of Hayley and Celeste that I read. I've also read some of your articles pertaining to CC so it's nice to see the three biggest names I associate with CC, the ones that also convinced me to try CC out, being so actively engaged in the community and forums.
Oldman: thank you for your input and I'm sure as your portfolio grows, so too will your sales. Keep up the optimism.

[Celeste Stewart]

As an aside, I'd like to note how refreshing it was having read information (interviews of, tips on CC, CC reviews, etc.) from both Celeste and Hayley, and seeing you both so active, engaging, and helpful in the forums.

We walk the walk

[ThisOldMan]

And after you have walked the talk, you can write about it, submit it, publish it, et cetera. I think you have got a going concern there. Just felt like pulling some legs this morning.