Need help about my article!

[Balloon]

Hello all, I'm a new writer to CC, being attracted to write here because of the great community CC harbors. I must say I'm impressed by the level of support given by writers to newbies like me!

However, I've been stumped by repeated rejections for one of my articles. The reasons cited were grammatical errors.

Actually, it was kind of an off-hand comment: "We do not accept contents that contain grammatical errors."

I've looked through the article a few times, and I can't find any errors in my article.

I've always been bad at find Wally in his books. So, I'm asking you experienced writers here: please help me find that grammatical mistake in my article! I've posted an excerpt of my article where I believe this sneaky bugger is hiding in.

"Of course, hypoallergenic dog food does not always eliminate your puppy’s allergy, as it might be allergic to another component found in its usual meal. In such cases, you will have to do things the hard way – test one brand on your puppy, and watch out for any symptoms evolving from consuming that particular brand, before settling for a brand that does not cause an allergic reaction to your puppy. It might also be advisable to find a professional to evaluate the problem, such that your puppy can return to its bubbly nature as soon as possible."

Many thanks in advance!

[VersantScribe]

Right off, I'd see if you can find a way to re-write it without so many commas. I'm not sure if they're grammatically incorrect, but it is somewhat cumbersome. The last sentence, "such that" should be "so that" or just "so" without the "that." Such is incorrect. I would say, "It may be advisable to find a professional to evaluate the problem so your puppy can return to its bubbly nature as soon as possible."

Hope that helps!

[Antonia]

Use of "evolving" is incorrect. Perhaps you mean "resulting"? And I agree: lots of commas. I'd rewrite using shorter sentences.

[Balloon]

Alright, thanks for your help guys! I'll get to work to shorten my sentences =)

[WordAddict]

This is just a general observation.

You use a lot of words. Many of them could be removed without changing your message. Removing unnecesary words almost always improves clarity. Your passage uses a psuedo-professorial style that many readers will find condescending. Obviously, making your readers resent you is not a good idea.