What is wrong with this article? I need some feedback

[ladywriter58]

THE TASTE OF LEMON
The taste of lemon makes ones taste buds stand up and take notice like soldiers at reveille. The tongue recoils at this intrusion. Ones lips pucker as if for some vile kiss. Your hand waves around in the air like a helicopter that can't gain momentum.Your eyes water as if from some unseen woe. You say, yuck, but is that an appropriate sentiment. It's not the lemons fault it isn't sweet. It's never been sweet and never will. I drop the lemon in the garbage, it's fragrent scent will be usful there. Should I have made lemonade? I dare to ask.

[SJHillman]

From a grammar and spelling standpoint, several things - I've put the ones I noticed at a glance in brackets below. From a reader's perspective... it makes no sense. How is standing up to take notice an intrusion? I'm not sure what is meant by a helicopter that can't gain momentum just waving in the air.

The taste of lemon makes ones taste buds stand up and take notice like soldiers at reveille. The tongue recoils at this intrusion. One[']s lips pucker as if for some vile kiss. Your hand waves around in the air like a helicopter that can't gain momentum.Your eyes water as if from some unseen woe. You say, yuck[quotes?], but is that an appropriate sentiment[?]. It's not the lemon[']s fault it isn't sweet. It's never been sweet and never will [be]. I drop the lemon in the garbage, it's fragrent[sp] scent will be usful[sp] there. Should I have made lemonade? I dare to ask.

[mnicol22]

SJ is right, there is a lot going on with your article. I do understand the analogy and the whole poetic mood, but, please, be warned that CC accepts strictly professional, informative articles. No fiction or otherwise artistic pieces get accepted.

[ScriptMaster]

Apart from the other errors already indicated:
Guidelines say avoid using "one".
First you use "one", then it becomes "your", and finally "I".
Guidelines say avoid 1st person POV.

momentum.Your

- should be a space after the period.

I drop the lemon in the garbage, it's fragrent

- inappropriate comma, should be at least a colon, preferably a period. Incorrect apostrophe in "it's"

Should I have made lemonade? I dare to ask.

- incorrect punctuation. Should be "Should I have made lemonade?" I dare to ask.

Several of the errors would have been picked up by your WP's spelling and grammar check. It's careless not to use the check.