Constructive Criticism Thread

[HRoberts]

I say go for it! Your post bumped it anyway, so why not?

[SLPerini]

Thanks, I'll take your word for it. I'll be posting a few short practice articles in this thread in the upcoming days. The articles will be posted in their entirety and will have no use outside of this thread.

The brief reasoning behind this is that, I don't intend to waste neither C-C's nor my time by releasing poor, unpolished material that would be rejected. If anyone would like to stop in and do a quick proofreading and/or general feedback on the quality of the article, it would be greatly appreciated!

[SLPerini]

Hi,

I tried to follow the recommended self-editing process as closely as possible. Here is the first full practice article.

What is Psychotherapeutic EFT?

What if tapping certain pressure points could stimulate an energy system to help achieve emotional freedom from personal fears, past traumas or limitations? As strange as that may seem, that’s exactly what practitioners of EFT (or simply tapping) advertise as a legitimate result of the therapy.

EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, is a type of therapy in which pressure points, commonly used in acupuncture, are gently tapped in order to shift energy away from negative emotions. EFT has been practiced by therapists for over 25 years and even more recently by self-help and life coaches. EFT is a type of therapeutic modality that is growing in popularity as a result of the upward trend in various forms of alternative medicine.

EFT is certainly not free of controversy; the idea behind tapping energy points to shift positive energy is easily deemed pseudoscientific. However, the point of this simple introduction is not to discuss whether or not positive results from EFT tapping are only based on placebo effects. Readers or viewers of the topic are encouraged simply to search the internet and make their own assessments. Examples of numerous videos on EFT are posted on sites such as YouTube. These videos sometimes may not introduce the concept of EFT properly, and can be confusing to new viewers.

Ultimately, people who’ve tried and tested EFT or other related fields of therapy may swear by the positive results, whilst skeptics will always look to science to easily determine that there’s no actual proof of the benefits. Perhaps, it will always be believed by EFT practitioners that shifting the nervous system by stimulating points is valid for overcoming negative or limiting beliefs. If nothing else, to practicing individuals and believers of EFT, the benefits they experience will always be worth it.

Thank you for reading. Let me know if you see a red flag or a dozen.

[mnicol22]

I gave a quick read to your sample and I have a few objections. I don't see any eye-poking grammatical mistakes, although I admit I didn't really look for them. "Who've" on the last paragraph stroke me as a bit awkward-"who have" would have been better.

My greatest concern, however, is that you actually urge the reader to leave the page, google the term or go straight to Youtube and find out more. Your aim should be to keep the reader on the page-or at least on the site- for as long as possible.

In other words, your sample lacks critical information. What is the origin of this technique and its philosophy? Furthermore, if you claim that it's a controversial practice, you have to at least mention who fights it, who supports it and why. One line at the end of the article is not sufficient to make a point. Has research been conducted that can prove or disprove the effects of this technique? Is there any reason to believe that it only has a placebo effect on patients?

The point is to provide the reader with enough information that will allow him to decide whether he wants to research the topic further. Others may disagree, and it's only my opinion, but I'm saying it with the best of intentions.

[SJHillman]

mnicol22 has a very strong point about keeping readers on the page. Buyers generally don't choose articles because they're spiffy, but because they attract readers, which leads to ad revenue. The more time readers spend on the page/site, the more ad revenue for the buyer, which is the ultimate goal because that supplies the money that pays for the article in the first place. Any time you can add a little more meat to the article to keep readers on the page, the better off you'll be and the more money you can get for the article.

[SLPerini]

With respect, mnicol22 and SJHillman.

Revisions Changelog:

- who've is now who have

- The third EFT sentence of second paragraph: it seems redundant to restate EFT again

- Changed Emotional Freedom Techniques to singular, even though technically it is plural, it looks neater within the article and generally refers to one broad technique.

- Rewrote the entire third paragraph and added another explaining the origin.

What is Psychotherapeutic EFT?

What if tapping certain pressure points could stimulate an energy system to help achieve emotional freedom from personal fears, past traumas or overall limitations? As strange as that may seem, that’s exactly what practitioners of EFT (or simply tapping) advertise as a legitimate result of the therapy.

EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, is a type of therapy in which pressure points, commonly used in acupuncture, are gently tapped in order to shift energy away from negative emotions. EFT has been practiced by therapists in various forms for over 25 years and more recently by self-help and life coaches. This type of therapeutic modality is growing in popularity as a result of the upward trend in various forms of alternative medicine.

The acronym EFT, itself, has only existed since the 1990’s. It was coined by self-improvement guru Gary Craig, who used psychologist Dr. Roger Callahan’s TFT process of tapping acupressure points to explore curing anxieties or phobias of patients. Craig successfully converted and simplified this concept to general personal development. The origin of the practice and theory, however, certainly goes back to ancient Chinese concepts of meridians and acupuncture, theories that have no scientific base, yet have had perceived positive results to believing participants.

In this matter, EFT is certainly not free of controversy; the idea behind tapping energy points to shift positive energy is easily deemed pseudoscientific by researchers. However, the point of this simple introduction is not to discuss whether or not positive results from EFT tapping have only been based on placebo effects.

Ultimately, people who have tried and tested EFT or other related fields of therapy may swear by the positive results, whilst skeptics will always look to science to easily determine that there’s no actual proof of the benefits. Perhaps, it will always be believed by EFT practitioners that shifting the nervous system by stimulating points is valid for overcoming negative or limiting beliefs. If nothing else, to practicing individuals and believers of EFT, the benefits they experience will always be worth it.

I’m open to the idea that the entire structure of the article is just poorly done, if that’s the case, it would be good to know sooner than later.

Thanks.

[SLPerini]

Hi,

Sorry to ask again or maybe the post wasn't seen. Yes, No, or Maybe as to whether the above article is more or less to Constant-Content standards?

Thanks!

[EMMA]

Hi and thank you once again for letting me proofread your work. It is ironic really because my Mum swears by tapping and she has tried to show me the benefits on many occasions, as well as tapping she chants either affirmations or the specific issue whilst tapping.
I did not find many errors. I don't want to over step the mark but would you mind me making a suggestion or two about how it is written?

I shall wait for your reply before sticking my two pennies in.

Emma

[SLPerini]

would you mind me making a suggestion or two about how it is written?

Sure, it helps me improve and it helps you. Besides, I'm the least argumentative person on the internet.

[nicole22biba]

[quote="Hans"]I'm not sure if this is allowed given the whole secrecy over identities and such, but here goes:

I recently started a web-blog and written a piece on the LHC (large hadron collider). If you don't know about the LHC and the debate surrounding it, you will once you read the article.

As this is actually the first time i've started a blog of my own, i have a few questions.
1) Is such a writing style suitable on a blog?
2) Are more pictures/videos needed?
3) Should the length of the post be shorter?

Constructive criticism on the article itself would be great as well......."

Hi Hans,
I was unable to find the article you are talking about. Anyways, I checked a few articles, and I consider that the writing style is appropriate for your blog. I am not an expert, but I have visited tons of blogs over the years. So, I know a few things. I do not think that you should place more pictures or videos. One picture per article is enough. Remember that a lot of pictures and videos can make your blog load very slow. This is very annoying for your readers especially when they want to go through all categories. One more thing: I honestly think that there are too many categories. I do not know if you can write for all of them in order to keep them up-to-date. In case that another writer helps you, it is fine - I guess. As far as I know, the ideal lenght of a post should be between 350 and 500 words. For posts longer than 500 words, you should try to use sub-titles. Sub-titles are important because they can help readers to screen the content before starting to read the article. Keep in mind that offering your readers convenience is vital if you want to convince them to come back. Additionally, you should use bullets whenever you can. You are able to find numerous materials about how to create content that attracts readers. You should take some time to read such materials if you want to succeed. Good luck!

[Sakmeht]

I'd love some thoughts on this section of my paper...

Never Say No

If you must tell the customer “no", try not to use the actual word. “Yes, however” or “Not at this time” sound very neutral. The word “no” is so final sounding. It makes you appear inflexible and unwilling to compromise. A customer needs to hear that you're doing your best to give them a “yes” answer, even if in the end you are unable to tell them what they want to hear.

I'm second guessing myself on capitalization, commas, and quotation marks. Should I italicize? I don't need a comma after "Yes, however", right?
You guessed it, I'm new. I'm trying to brush up on my grammar and punctuation using online sources, but I've got some good old-fashioned books ordered and on the way. My first article was accepted right away and I'm paranoid that it was mostly luck. LOL

Thanks,
Sarita

[Sakmeht]

All right, I see now that my commas need to be within the quotation marks....

I just picked up some grammar books so I'll have a look as far as everything else goes.

Feel free to weigh in if you see any issues. I think this article is close to ready to submit.
This is the only paragragh that's been bothering me.

Thanks!

[EFowler]

Hi all, I'm aware that this thread hasn't been added to in quite a while, but I'm hoping for some help with a sentence that I'm just not loving, so hopefully there are still people out there reading this!

Talking about Indian cuisine:

The colours, fragrances and flavours of the diverse range of dishes on offer demand your attention.

I know what I'm trying to say, I've also got 'make you sit up and take notice', but however I put it it's just not sitting right with me. If anyone has any suggestions I'd be really grateful for a fresh pair of eyes.

Emily

[Lysis]

Hi Emily,

I'm not a creative writer at all, but the "on offer" thing threw me off. I don't understand what you're saying with the "on offer." If I remove that phrase, I understand though.

[EFowler]

THANK YOU Lysis, I just had a total "Oh yes!" moment. Your suggestion makes perfect sense, I was only looking at the phrasing of the last few words, but just taking out 'on offer' makes it read better.

Thanks again

Emily