What is Wrong with this Sentence?

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JoyRCalderwood
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What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by JoyRCalderwood »

A cost efficient way to have multiple articles online that contain links back to your site is to utilize one of the many websites that post articles for free."

Isn't it like saying "a way...is to utilize...."?
Celeste Stewart
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by Celeste Stewart »

How about:
A cost-effective link building strategy is to take advantage of free article marketing websites.

Pet peeve alert: I hate the word "utilize" - especial when "use" will do just fine. But that's just me :)
4rumid
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by 4rumid »

First -- yes! I hate "utilize" in place of "use."

Second -- yes again. Joy: you are in fact saying "a way...is to utilize...." I like Celeste's solution, but if you want to include more explicit info in the sentence, how about "A cost-effective link-building strategy is to post articles containing links back to your site on free article-marketing websites."
Celeste Stewart
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by Celeste Stewart »

I like 4Rumid's sentence. It clarifies how the link building works.

Yeah, what's up with "utilize"? No one uses it conversationally, but it seems everyone loves to utilize (ack) it in their written communications. LOL. Like I say, it's a pet peeve. Goes way back to the corporate world. Don't get me started on corporate speak.
jadedragon
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by jadedragon »

Posting articles on free article sites is a cost effective way to build valuable links to your website.
Elizabeth Ann West
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by Elizabeth Ann West »

Utilize has a valid existence. I looked it up just to double check and there is a subtle difference between "use" and "utilize."

Utilize has a natural positive aspect to it. In this case, utilize would be proper since the link-building exercise is about taking the same effort and getting more results.

You shouldn't use the word if there is no positive aspect.

i.e.

I felt like the organization just wanted to utilize me; they didn't care if my feelings were hurt.

I do agree that overuse of any word is annoying, but I wouldn't just say that utilize and use are identical. But a writer should intend the subtlety and not just have it happen accidentally.
Celeste Stewart
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by Celeste Stewart »

Yeah, I get the subtlety (to put to good use rather than to simply use something). It's a pet peeve because a former coworker of mine used the word all the time when she wanted to sound smart. It always cracked me up and annoyed me at the same time. LOL.
4rumid
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by 4rumid »

I'm with Celeste on this -- "utilize" for "use" is also one of my pet peeves. While it's true they're not perfect synonyms, there's rarely, if ever, a case where you couldn't use "use" in place of "utilize." (In fact, M-W gives "use" as a synonyn for "utilize.") It's probably best to say that utilize, in the sense of make use of, or put to practical use, is one of the definitions of "use." Also, I don't think there has to be a "positive" sense in utilize -- you could say you utilize your powers for evil rather than good (if you felt it necessary to point that out to anybody). Or you could, in fact, say the organization just wanted to utilize you -- if you meant make use of you for what they could get from you.

For me, it's a matter of not using a bigger word when a smaller word conveys the same meaning, and I can't think of a case where you'd lose anything by writing "use" -- if the sense is "utilize," I think that will be clear from the context.

And it's an especially bad idea to use "big" words when you're just trying to sound smart -- you usually end up just sounding sillier! :)
Celeste Stewart
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by Celeste Stewart »

It goes back to Strunk & White's "avoid fancy words" section. As the book says, why use a twenty dollar word when a ten-center will do just fine? Not that 'utilize' is overly fancy (and Joy, we're not picking on you, just going off topic on a pet peeve) but it's a tad fancier than 'use.'

I just looked up what good ol' Strunk & White had to say about utilize vs. use: "Prefer use. I utilized the facilities. I used the toilet. He utilized the dishwasher. He used the dishwasher." That's not to say that 'utilize' doesn't have its place, but it's a word I tend to underutilize. :D
J. A. Young
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by J. A. Young »

I could happily kick "utilize" to the proverbial curb. Although it's not as annoying as people that describe things as "amazing."

She looks amazing. His acting is amazing. Everything is so *gag me* amazing that nothing's really amazing anymore.

JA needs to get some rest though. Long week. I could sure utilize an amazing night's sleep :)
Debbi
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by Debbi »

"Utilize" is one of those words that middle management uses in their reports to upper management to impress the powers that be. When I used t edit corporate and shareholder reports, I was constantly crossing out "utilize" and writing in "use." Gah.
JoyRCalderwood
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by JoyRCalderwood »

I both agree and disagree with the comments on use or utilize.

I like the word utilize when it is referring to a "tool" like a useful tool like when suggesting a tool to use in building traffic in the virtual world.

How about this:

you can "use" the gym at the YMCA (to me this implies going there and running around in it)

or you can "utilize" the gym to help you achieve your goals. (to me this implies using it as a resource as part of a set of goals)


BACK TO THE ORIGINAL QUestion: I know the sentence did come across a bit wordy, but ED rejected it not for wordiness but because he said there was not proper SUBJECT VERB agreement. That is what I seem to find trouble understanding.
JoyRCalderwood
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by JoyRCalderwood »

The article was about using "Articles" to promote yourself and this sentence is introducing how and where you can put your articles.
JoyRCalderwood
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by JoyRCalderwood »

Celeste Stewart wrote:How about:
A cost-effective link building strategy is to take advantage of free article marketing websites.

Pet peeve alert: I hate the word "utilize" - especial when "use" will do just fine. But that's just me :)
The article was about using "Article Marketing" to promote yourself and this sentence was introducing how and where you can place your articles. So your suggested sentence doesn't fit in the context.

The rejection notice said there wasn't proper subject/verb agreement, rather than a rejection based on wordiness or the word utilize.

Please see my further comments below.
Celeste Stewart
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Re: What is Wrong with this Sentence?

Post by Celeste Stewart »

A cost efficient way to have multiple articles online that contain links back to your site is to utilize one of the many websites that post articles for free
Hmmn, maybe the subject/verb issue isn't the "a cost efficient way to utilize" part (subject and verb agree), but perhaps the "one of the many websites that post" part. If the subject is "one," then "one that posts articles for free" would be in agreement. Play around with this section a little:

. . . is to utilize websites that post articles for free.
. . . is to utilize one of the free article marketing websites
. . . is to utilize one of the many free promotional websites
. . . is to utilize one of the many free article directories.

Some more ideas:
A cost-effective article marketing technique that can generate dozens of links back to your site involves posting articles on free article directories.
A cost-effective way to have multiple articles containing links to your site is to utilize free article directories and content sites.
A cost-effective way to build links back to your site is to post articles containing your links on free article submission sites.
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